Back on the blog

Well I'm unemployed.  The last time I entered a blog, I was going on about how much I enjoy trucking.  And now, I'm out of a job.  Amen to that.  Goes to show.  After a week and a half of mulling about my mom's house in northern vermont, getting some stuff in order, visiting my storage unit (only to wish that I had brought a can of gasoline and some matches), filling up on white russians, and wondering if I'm completing my unemployment forms correctly, I'm ready to go back to work, whatever that will be.  I'm a lazy person, predominantly.  I don't get up in the morning and relish all the things I have the capability to do.  I usually wake up and curse the burden of existing in the physical realm.  But I don't do well unless I'm part of something.  I'm embarrassed to be talking about myself like some sort of four year old, or worse, a new puppy..."Yeah, he's ok around people, and he just needs some structure...he does REALLY well with structure..."  Emnarrassing but true.  If I have nothing to do, which essentially I don't right now, I quickly descend into addiction, slough, gluttony, and self-pity.  I wish it weren't so.  I wish that upon hearing the news that my employers were closing up shop, (they're done b/c making a buck running a small trucking company is nearly impossible nowadays) I eagerly began writing that screenplay I've been thinking about.  Or perhaps purchased a pair of snowshoes and began enjoying all this winter wilderness surrounding me up here.  Ya know, really get the creative juices flowing!  Neither has happened, I'm afraid.  I have been a human pinball, richoceting off the open fridge, my mother's piano (which I am getting better at playing) and my Epiphone guitar (which I am also getting better at playing)...sort of gaining mass as I roll across the carpet; not from the dog hair, more from shear caloric intake.  Tortilla chips go with everything, so I've stocked up, and white russians are good any time of day, so I've also stocked up.  Labbatts Beer, found in abundance up here in the northeast, is delicious and affordable, and has a light, bubbly appeal to quench one's thirst throughout the day.  That sounds so British as I go back and read that sentence.  Spot On!

Comments

[Tara Anderson]

Dude, playing instruments and blogging are definitely creative pursuits. I love the honesty you display in knowing yourself and how you react to unemployment. If I was in your place, I think there would be less self-awareness and more freaking out. But I have student loans and that Puritan work ethic, not to mention my mother's Catholic guilt, to contend with. Keep up the good work on the blog...perhaps we can all follow along on your journey to find some structure!